Something has been rumbling around in my heart ever since the Influence conference (there’s that dang conference again. 🙂 ).
Do you walk into a room full of strangers and try to befriend people? Me too. But, are you ever afraid to? Me too. If they don’t respond to you, do you start wondering what you did wrong? Me too…
I am sick and tired of the voices, y’all. The ones that start whispering whenever I’m trying to befriend someone. Not “voices” like I’m crazy (although…), just my own paranoid, little commentary. I’m tired of hearing myself say, “she probably didn’t want to sit with you cause of how you’re dressed.” Or, “maybe you offended her when you asked that question.” Or, “you might have accidentally hurt someone she knows and they made a pact not to talk to the ‘mean girl’.” And on and on and on. I can come up with some of the dumbest scenarios. Thankfully, there have been enough times where I realized how mistaken I was and that the person was really just shy or distracted or needing to find a bathroom. Because of those times, I now know to tune the voices out. But, they’re still there.
And, while it’s part of my personality to assume the worst about myself first (most of the time), I’m beginning to wonder if thoughts like that aren’t the enemy’s way of keeping me from making the kinds of friends I really need. Maybe my doubt is playing right into his hand. In fact, I know it is. I know the one thing that has the potential to hold me back from the best relationships is my own self doubt. And, that really makes me want to squash the voices. It makes me want to not give up after one awkward interaction. It makes me want to fight for truth and good communication in friendship cause that is what the Lord wants for all of us. He wants us believing all the truth, not fearing all the lies.
If you’re like me in anything I’ve just been saying, please think twice about your self doubt, too. Did you really say anything wrong? Prolly not. Are you really so offensive or unfashionable or unpopular that someone would avoid you? Absolutely not!
So, just go ‘head and dropkick them stupid, little voices, y’all. Do it in His name!